Driver’s License

I had to renew my Driver’s License. This is not the best thing to do during chemo. It arrived and the picture is very flattering. I’ll have to keep my hair short for the next 3 years to get through airport security. My hair did not fall out. It is patchy and looks a little funny as it starts to grow out but the personal groomer has worked like a charm. I can cut my hair in 5 minutes or less each Sunday. I’m a donor, have a living will, and lied about my weight so I am feeling well and optimistic about the future.

Eat Good Food, Be Kind, Tell the Truth

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Beef Brisket and Baked Potato Coupé: Attitude is what makes this work.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Fatigue

I am having more fatigue. I went to a few different web sites to read about cancer related fatigue. One common thing I found is that fatigue often is but should not be confused with tiredness. Tiredness happens to everyone. It is an expected feeling after certain activities or at the end of the day. Usually, you know why you are tired, and a good night's sleep solves the problem. The fatigue I’m talking about is unpredictable. Usually, it comes on suddenly, does not result from activity or exertion, and is not relieved by rest or sleep. It just happens.

Some signs of cancer-related fatigue I found at a variety of sites are:
• Feeling tired, weary or exhausted even after sleeping
• Lacking energy to do your regular activities
• Having trouble concentrating, thinking clearly, or remembering
• Feeling negative, irritable, impatient, or unmotivated
• Lacking interest in normal day-to-day activities
• Spending less attention on personal appearance
• Spending more time in bed or sleeping

Those are great descriptions and I think I’ve experienced all of those to some degree. However, they miss a key point about cancer related fatigue. It makes it sound gradual but the fact is it is often sudden and paralyzing. And dangerous. When Dallas and I went fishing, I fell asleep while driving. Dallas calmly took control and woke me up. But the whole language of “falling asleep” isn’t correct. I didn’t fall asleep; I shut down – like flipping a switch. It’s said that Cool Papa Bell was so fast he could turn off the light and be in bed before the room got dark. That’s the challenge of coping with cancer related fatigue.

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Spicy Chipotle-Tomato Sauce: Great on steaks and burgers.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Fishing

I haven’t done a lot of fishing since the kids were born. I didn’t do a lot of fishing before that either but did enough to be dangerous. I have my grandfather’s 1959 3HP Evinrude motor, fishing poles, tackle box, etc. I decided it was time to clean this stuff up and start to do some fishing. While I’m starting to work on my tackle box Dallas tells me he’d like to go fishing sometime. He hasn’t been fishing since he was using a Thomas the Tank Engine pole. So I’m thinking I can clean my stuff up, rent a row boat, put the motor on, take him fishing in a lake I’ve haven’t fished in years with gear that hasn’t been used in years, and the whole thing will be a disaster. Or I could look for a guide who knows what they are doing, break back into this thing with some success, and have some fun. Fun seemed like the better option.

Mille Lacs Lake is Minnesota's second-largest lake and well known for its fishing – especially Walleye fishing. It also has Northern Pike, Muskie, Perch, Small Mouth Bass and I’m sure other types of fish. And it is less than a two-hour drive from our home. Lake Minnetonka is closer but also has more recreational boaters so the fishing may not be as much fun. Mille Lacs it is. Tim and Tina Chapman run
Chapman’s Mille Lacs Resort & Guide Service. I found them on an internet search and made a reservation for Tim to guide me and Dallas.

In the meantime, Todd calls to see if I want to go fishing after work on Wednesday. I’m all over this. We headed out to Lake Minnetonka where his boat is and embarked on a 3-hour tour. Like the Minnow we had some problems but still had fun and each caught a little Northern. Now I’m ready to go to Mille Lacs confident that I can fish and finding a guide was the right decision.

Dallas and I arrived around 3:30 and Tim and Tina welcomed us. Tim is prepared to take us out and not only guides us but teaches us about the lake and fishing too. This is fun and stress free fishing. Dallas got the first catch – a small perch we didn’t keep – and then the walleyes started hitting. We were getting "good eating” walleyes that we can keep and get our limit. We also had the excitement of catching a very fat 18” small mouth. It was a beautiful evening.









With the chemo and everything I thought I might be taking on a little too much with this trip. It couldn’t have been better. I got to spend time with Dallas, fished on a beautiful lake, and Tim and Tina took care of everything. I'm refreshed and feeling great.

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Pan-Fried Walleye Fillets: Couple of options. Nothing really new here since my grandfather last used the motor.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

A Bicycle Built for Two

I finished the last infusion and my booster shot for this cycle this week. Feeling well but a little more on edge than in the other cycles. My sleep has been more disrupted but I’m doing OK. I’m more prone to frustration – little things bother me – and I was (maybe still am) spiraling into a funk. Eunice has accommodated me in many ways during my chemotherapy. But she went above and beyond last night.

I found a used tandem bicycle on Craig’s List. I’d gotten it into my head that I wanted to get a tandem so we could talk while taking a leisurely bike ride. We have many trails near our home and the state is full of bike trails on old railroad lines. When we ride together we get separated and it is hard to talk. Plus I could steer and Eunice would be the little engine that could. We test drove the tandem (an older Trek T50) and bought it last night. It’s in good shape, was a fair price, and fits us both well. We needed a larger frame since we are tall and many tandems won’t fit us well. It’s blue which seemed to fit my mental state.

I did suffer my first injury during the test ride; actually at the end of it. The bike has leather toe straps that will be removed. When we got on I mentioned I would probably forget about them. Sure enough, when we stopped I didn’t get my feet out and over we went. I scraped my elbow and knee and bruised my hip. This isn’t good for a guy with low platelets and I’m a little sore but have a smile on my face. Mentally I’m better, physically I’m worse. When I coached little league a kid once told me he preferred the “mental part” of the game. I’m appreciating that more and more.

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Grilled Salmon with Blueberry Sauce: A meal with a little blue.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Buying Local

I feel well. I realized something about my cold last month. The chemo does affect my throat. I’m not sure which drug but something makes my throat sore and raw. Combine that with the cold and cough and I was pretty miserable last month and the irritation from both just built on one another. I have the raw throat again now but no cold and it really isn’t a problem but there is always the unexpected. Eunice gave me a Jr. Mint today and the strong mint flavor/burn nearly did me in. It was funny after I was able to breathe again. I am taking the Prednisone which makes my hands shake and increases my appetite. And I'm taking the Procarbazine which restricts my diet.

I like Toad in the Hole but I can’t eat it now because of the sausages. Toad in the Hole combines two UK favorites; sausage covered and baked in Yorkshire pudding. It’s a favorite pub food and dinner dish. It is sometimes confused with eggs in a basket, the process of breaking an egg into a slice of bread with a hole in it, and frying the result. Nothing wrong with that but Toad in the Hole uses bangers, which are large pork sausages. The Yorkshire pudding recipe is not an actual pudding, but a baked pudding made from flour, milk, and eggs – basically a popover. This batter then covers the sausages, and the result is a heavily browned, raised crust that surrounds the meat. Many say onion gravy is a must over the top.

So what’s this got to do with buying local or my health? I’ve become a fan of Whole Foods because they have a lot of uncured meat products which allows me to eat things that are on the forbidden list because they are not cured or preserved. Things like uncured ham, corned beef, bacon, hot dogs, etc. with no preservatives are OK. But I haven’t seen sausages until… can you believe it, uncured Bison Cocktail Sausages? So I’m all excited and telling Eunice about this, suggesting we make “Tadpoles in the Hole” when she points out to me she isn’t crazy about Whole Foods because it is a national chain and not a local enterprise. Shouldn’t we be buying from local folks, local groceries, and local co-ops? Man o’ man – I played the cancer card but she had a point.

We went to the Lynden Hills Co-op to refamiliarize ourselves with it. In September they are going to be more conveniently located near us – even more local. They did have a supply of uncured meats but no Bison Cocktail Sausages. Fortunately I’d already bought them at Whole Foods anyway and my trip was mainly to make Eunice happy and open the door to making Tadpoles in the Hole. It was shameless on my part. I buy into the buying local thing and will do it – later. But as I said, I’m taking Prednisone right now.

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Tadpoles/Toad in the Hole

Onion Gravy

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Does Cancer Stimulate the Economy?

When Bob Kerrey was asked about dating Debra Winger, he said she was his "stimulus package”. I wondered if cancer falls into that category. I thought maybe developments in technology, drugs, education, jobs, etc. related to cancer might have some economic impact. I couldn’t find anything to support that.

It’s hard to say if my personal spending related to my lymphoma and treatments has helped stimulate the economy. We spend less, virtually nothing, eating out. We do spend more on food at markets, spread that spending around more than we did in the past, and purchase groceries several times a week to have fresh things. And then there are just things. My treatments also coincide with Ann and Dallas coming home from school so that means we spend more than when they are away and that creates a perception that my treatments are vigorously stimulating the local economy. Eunice just shakes her head.

People also send me stuff, nice stuff. Friends have sent flowers, books, things to watch on DVD, baskets with treats, a straw hat, cards, good thoughts, and well wishes. Someone is benefiting from all this. So what’s an internet search show is doing well these days? Fun things like…

Clinical Strength Deodorant
Yep, major deodorant brands are experiencing a jump in sales due to clinical strength deodorants that have just recently hit the market. Deodorant must be a staple in our lives no matter what the economy is like. I guess we sweat a lot. Personally, my biggest jump in hygiene products has been for hand sanitizer.

SPAM
No, not Email, but that little can that you have seen collecting dust in the back corner of your grandma’s pantry. This is of particular interest to me since it is made in Minnesota, I have visited the SPAM museum, and SPAM sales are up. The, employees of Hormel Foods in Austin, Minnesota are living the dream. They are producing as much as possible and we are buying it. I actually like it, much to the dismay of my family, but it’s not for a low Tyramine diet.

Video Games
I guess they are relatively inexpensive compared to out-of-home forms of entertainment, and they can provide many hours of entertainment. And they are an escape from the real world. During the Great Depression, American’s flocked to the movies to take their minds off what was going on around them. Now you can get hours of fun playing video games.

Online DVD Rentals
People are not taking their money out on the town like they once were including to the movie theaters. We have NetFlix and can watch a movie at home, make our own popcorn, and, in my case, enjoy a cold glass of water for the cost of the straw that comes in a drink at the theaters.

I guess cancer spreads quickly, not economically.

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How to Make Popcorn Eunice learned this from a co-worker many years ago. Almost all of it pops and no burnt kernels.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Feeling Lucky

Last month I went to chemo and while I was in the waiting room a guy was sitting there with about a half dozen or so scratch off lottery tickets. I was called into the chemo room before I could ask him about them. I’d like to have heard his story. The next week Eunice was leaving for West Virginia and as I was driving her to the airport I asked if she had ever played the lottery. The answer was no. I don’t either with the exception that I have bought Powerball tickets for Eunice and the kids at Christmas to put in their stockings. We’ve never come close to winning anything.

While Eunice was gone I bought a one dollar scratch off lottery ticket. I won $5, actually 4 since I was in for a buck. But I was committed to losing that dollar and I traded my winnings in for 5 more lottery tickets for the same game. This time I won $10, so I’m up 9 now. I’ve became that person that holds you up in line while they cash out their lottery tickets. I was still committed to losing my dollar so I went back to the gas station trading in my tickets for 10 more tickets; playing the same game and won $20. This lottery thing takes time, I’m really not enjoying it by now, and my commitment to losing a dollar is waning so I go cash out and call an end to the whole thing. I’m up $19 and I’m not happy about it. I’ve made 3 trips to the gas station, this was the week I'm not feeling well, the whole thing has become a pain, and I’ve shown an inability to lose a dollar. I only felt better when I used the money to buy pizza for the kids for dinner.

Yesterday I started my 4th cycle. We were going to do a scan after this cycle to see how things are going. But we know it is working and I’m going to have all 6 cycles so why do the scan. We will wait until after the 6th cycle and see what’s happening. It won’t all be gone and it’s a bit of a wait and see thing to see if the fast growing cells are gone. Perhaps the bigger news is I saw the guy in the waiting room again; he didn’t have any lottery tickets. I asked him about them and he told me his brother had given him 10 of them and he found them in his pocket and thought it was something to do while he was waiting. It had less to do with luck and more to do with boredom.

I don’t know about “luck”. But my brief dip into the lottery pool changed my view on luck. Luck is a random thing; a probability that isn’t in your favor. I have told many people I have been pretty lucky through this whole thing so far. The results of my scan aren’t going to be luck; the probability is in my favor. Good doctor, good nurses, good friends, lots of support, feeling well, and in general doing as well as can be expected. These are things I can count on or have some control over, not random luck. I’m not lucky, I’m grateful.

Eat Good Food, Be Kind, Tell the Truth

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Crispy Salmon with Spicy Lentils: Lentils have been described as resembling coins, so they are a symbol of wealth. And since lentils plump up after being cooked or boiled in water, their growth symbolizes increasing wealth. In other words, they are lucky.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Improving Your Golf Game

John invited me to play golf last night. I was a little hesitant but was feeling pretty good and decided to give it a shot so to speak. Walked nine holes, carried my bag, didn’t get overly tired, and actually played OK. I think I hit every fairway on my drives. I had three birdie putts, missed them all, but my short game stinks and there isn’t anything new there. I only hit three really bad shots. A port may be the answer to the duck hook.

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Sauteed Kale with an Egg and Salsa: We joined a CSA and have been getting some kale in our box. Apparently it is considered one of the top cancer preventing foods available to us. This is a suggested recipe.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

A Better Berry

A friend of ours, Joan, is redoing the garden in her front yard and invited us to take many of the plants in it now. She had many beautiful perennials and a truckload of strawberries in the garden. We have a garden on the south side of our house of which about half we don’t use. Eunice and I were both excited to fill in the back half with strawberry plants and we did. I felt well enough to extend the fencing (to keep the rabbits out) and help plant the strawberries. Joan told us they spread like crazy and we didn’t need to cram them in. We crammed them in. My mother loved strawberries. She told me once that God could have made a better berry, but never did. Not sure where she got that but I agree.

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Strawberry-Rhubarb Pie We also have rhubarb in the garden and I’m looking forward to a homegrown, homemade strawberry-rhubarb pie next spring. Eunice makes a delicious pie. The key is to roll out the pie dough very thin.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Baseball, Baseball, Baseball…

I’ve been feeling pretty well although I still have a bit of a cough. But I felt well enough to take in some baseball games this weekend. We went to the Twins game on Saturday and that went well for 7 innings. The Rays scored 7 in the top of the eighth with the help of a pinch hit grand slam home run and went on to win 8-6. Bart Giamatti wrote that baseball breaks your heart and it was designed to break your heart. The game lived up to that.

We also went to the St. Paul Saints game on Sunday and they won 9-0. We were given tickets and sat on the warning track, yes, the warning track, in front of the wall. The area was “protected” by orange snow fencing and any ball hit in our area (not over the wall) would be ruled a ground rule double. We sat in the power alley and someone hit a home run, over our heads and the wall. We did not stay for the fireworks after the game.

I was thinking about Giamatti with the recent headlines during Elena Kagan’s confirmation about Chief Justice John Roberts' metaphor that a judge is like a baseball umpire who calls balls and strikes (balls and strikes was a really poor choice for this metaphor). Giamatti saw baseball as a metaphor for life in general (he probably would have chosen the infield fly rule for the metaphor). Where would Giamatti find a metaphor for cancer in baseball?

Who cares? I prefer to watch the game for the conversation. Maybe that’s the connection to cancer; the emerging patterns, connecting the dots, the creation of a story. Something happens on the field; we see it and wonder what might come next. Then another thing happens and the story gets another chapter. Then it becomes history. That’s the beauty of baseball and surviving cancer.

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Grilled Steak Sandwiches: I can't have hot dogs or most of the other fare sold at the ball park. I had a steak sandwich at the Twins game and it was good but I had to remove the cheese. This sandwich has no cheese and is topped with a marinated tomato, onion, and watercress salad.

The Friday Update: Just the Facts

Happy Fourth of July

It’s the Fourth of July and I am starting to feel back to normal. That can only mean that my next cycle is just around the corner – July 12th. I’ve never really experienced the symptoms of cancer like night sweats, fatique (OK looking back I did this time), loss of weight, etc. I’ve always felt pretty well when I’ve been told I needed to start chemotherapy. My joke has been that I feel good so they make me feel bad so everybody feels better.

I was reading an article on MinnPost.com by Timothy Walch, director of the Herbert Hoover Presidential Library in West Branch, Iowa, about historic words too important to be misquoted. Apparently Herbert Hoover gets misquoted a fair amount – no chicken in every pot and car in every garage – but so do the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. Why? Because we are lazy.

According to Walch, we “too often rely on questionable Internet sites or biased cable-TV talk shows for news and information; we too often digest what we read and hear as factual when it's more accurately opinion or, perhaps, pure fabrication. Compounding our gullibility is the tendency for Internet pundits and political leaders to misquote or take quotes out of context to bolster a particular point of view. In short, "documentary information" is too often twisted to justify partisan perspectives.”

He goes on to say that there are good ways of checking stories and quotations. Just as the Internet is the source of a lot of misinformation, it also offers the tools to find the truth. Most well-known stories and quotes can be checked using the search box on Google.com other sites such as Snopes or WikiQuote.

Does my referencing an article found on the internet make you stop and pause? I hope so. I like the way Walch put it - "The Fourth of July, the day we cherish freedom, is a good day to use our thinking skills to check the accuracy of what we read and hear."

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Grilled Pepper Salad

The Friday Update: Just the Facts